Into the west, a bold move and a long journey!

So I have been doing a lot of thinking about life and love and the passion through it all. My life has completely changed in the past year and some of my biggest fears have occurred! I found myself lost not knowing what or who I am anymore and that is why I started this blog. Recently I found out my brother had got a job in San Diego and was moving in just a few weeks, I thought to myself “what am I going to do without my brother.” In all honesty though, I found that this was the best thing to ever happen to me! What I had found to be as a negative change in my life I was able to find new inspiration and many new paths that my life can take! Sure I miss my brother so much, but it took him to shake my life up to get me out of this funk I have been in since losing my beloved Grandma aka “my world.” Seeing him pick up his life and move across the country pointed my life in the direction of progression instead of the regression I found myself dwelling in. Yes, everyday I think about my Grandma and have things that I can’t wait to tell her when I get home, but I find myself awake again with bright eyes and an itch to move forward in life. That doesn’t mean I am leaving my Grandma in the past, but I am and forever will be moving forward with my Grandmother in my heart; where I go she will always be!

What does love got to do? My twist on love.

What is _love?  —–  Well Google.com say that “An intense feeling of deep affection” is the definition of _love. Let’s just say I love it “deep” (winks at the camera) but I don’t think that is what _love is… _Love is so complicated with so many levels and it occurs so differently for everyone. I know that love makes me CRAZY and _love can start wars and even cause a sane man to lose it, I know because I have been there. But honestly _love is so very deep and there isn’t words that can justify my true definition of _love but only words that can describe the emotional feeling I feel when I am in _love. To me when I am in _love, true _love that is, I have that feeling where we are one movement in this world, that nothing matters if they are not there aside me. _Love turns my world upside down and makes me go against the grain. I _{LOVE love}, I _love the emotions it makes me go through and most of all I _love it when the _love is pure and true making us glow like the sun; feelings of pure happiness. But on the dark side of _love, _love is a cause of pure evil. I have lost _love and it left me with such a rotting feeling inside of worthlessness and resentment. The feelings of destructive intuitions filled my mind and all care flew out the window. My stomach feels like an open pit much like a black hole sucking away all the goodness in and only leaving piercing pains of sorrow and self loathing. In history _love has caused some terrible tragedies and raised great evils. If there is a God, I don’t think _love was a gift given to us from him because _love is way too powerful over the human body and mind, it can destroy even the strongest man, _love is masked with goodness but it is much like a nuclear core as unstable as it is. To me _love is an act of a demonic power to put the most powerful pains into our lives. When _love is good and strong life seems so perfect like a little life in a snow globe, but at the same time _love can fog up any plans you have for yourself and completely destroy your future. I _love the feelings of _love and I _love its power, but honestly I think if there is a definition for _love, the true definition would be; power, pain, despair, destruction, war, and agony. A word as simple as “_love” is to me the most complicated word in the dictionary and you will never truly understand what _love really means until you have lost it.

-korychristopher

Essentials to Start a Better Life

Corners of my mind I explore, feels like forever with a feeling so scarce. My life is good but I want it to be great. Jealousy and curiosity push me foreword while anxiety and fear pull me back. So many paths to take and so many journeys to explore but I only have a short time to exist. Find me soon, find me now, achieve the most and live large. Be known, be loved, be great, be huge, but most of all fulfill you. We are all superstars inside its time to bust out and show that greatness inside, say bye to your fears and see ya to that anxiety; breaking free so that we can all say “I am me!” You know what moves you and what makes you happy even though it might not seem reachable. But why not try?! I know I don’t want to wake up in twenty years and realize I didn’t try. I just want to be me and do what I want to do. We can all live by these means and together we can change the world’s norms.

Since I started this blog I have honestly been so overwhelmed with life, even more than I use too. So I wrote down a few things that I have been thinking about doing or trying that will hopefully jumpstart this journey I seek. This list will be a checklist that I shall fill in the near future. I like my life but I need a bit of spice and some positive changes that will make my life so great that I can call it fabulous! But for starters and to get the gears in motion here are a few things I strive to seek for myself. I call this: “My Essential Checklist to Start a Better Life.”  (not in any particular order.)

• Volunteer and Community Service
• Be known for something
• Start Singing Again
• Start working for a career
• Buy a new computer
• Organize my iTunes
• Expand my music genres
• Watch more movies
• Continue learning
• Cook more
• Fix up or get new car
• Organize and plan better
• Get a hot bod/work out
• Start keeping a calendar
• Move somewhere exciting
• Better learn video editing
• Make a youtube video
• Show more of my creative side

I would say this will help motivate you to better your life even if it is something as simple as making a list of short term and long term goals of things you want to achieve. Of course I want to do a lot more things than this list, but I just made a shorter list, kind of the first big step of many along the way in the journey of my quest.

Haters gonna hate ya’ll

I see ya notice’n me with yo harsh words and yo glares, trying to break me down, feel inferior. Making me famous, making me known, talk yo shit motha fuckas because I already know; I am me and ya want to be me. Jealousy. Insecurity.

Forever Friends And Always In My Heart

 

Holidays are a time to come together. By definition a holiday is a day in which is free from work due to an event. Or as the Brits would say a (Hawl-ei-day) meaning a vacation. To me a holiday is both, when I am off of work I want to be away on some sort of vacation, and who better with then close friends. One of my best friends had moved away about six to seven months ago which shifted my life a bit. I had to adjust to our only communication occurring being through technology and gossiping back and forth about X-Factor. I felt like I lost a part of me when he moved away almost like I would never be the same, but what I didn’t realize was I am still the same person. It took this Christmas/N.Y.E. holiday season, his return into town, to make me realize this. For two weeks I made myself inseparable from him, where he was I would join and vise versa like old time sakes. I soon came to realize that our friendship was just as strong, possibly even stronger due to the time apart and we were able to catch up on how our lives had changed over those six to seven months. I am usually not big on holidays for different reasons, but knowing that I will be able to visit with a close friend during some of the bigger ones makes me have a new found love for them, and all the while finding that the true meaning of a holiday is to bring loved ones together. So when loved ones or close friends move away keep your head up, because the time you have spent with them will never change and the love you hold for them will forever be found in your heart.

 

Simply sex.

Simply inspiration. Simply Life. Simply Art. Simply Sex. Simply Love. Simply?…My ass, well maybe sex. The things one seeks along their journey is rarely a simple task, to me the simplest of all to come across is sex. But I have also noticed sex is more of a distraction along my journey; I get side tracked and if I had a gps during, it would be screaming “rerouting” and “make a legal U turn.” To find oneself cannot be found deep ‘inside’ of another no matter what the temptation. If you asked me today “am I addicted to sex?”, ” well maybe” but I have sex because I can and I find it so easy to get sometimes and I enjoy it, but at the same time “the journey of my quest,” (my quest I am seeking) has made it easier to say no to this temptation. I find myself too busy for that random mid week meetings with a hottie with that body. I gotta say though if and when I actually have sex these days I find it more special and way more sensational. Was I or Am I a skank? …Well, I wouldn’t place a label, which saying having sex is a bad thing, on it because to me sex is sex, it is like baking or riding a bike, to me it’s just something people enjoy to do but it’s not for everyone. No skank here but if one must place a label over another’s head it is showing insecurity in their own life and most likely jealousy. Personally sex only means something if the person you are sharing it with means something to you. In all honesty sex is all fun and games but eventually you will want that special someone to share it with and I know I will find him eventually. So I am on a journey to find that inspiration, that art, the life to come, and a love that is my forever which is the quest I am seeking for.

No need to label me!

I am who I am, I am original, I am me, I am not like the next, I am different, I am “weird,” I am special, I am…Kory Christopher. I am not gonna sit here and tell you I only like something or someone because the media or the main stream tells me I should; I have an odd mind where I form bonds with people, animals, and even inanimate things. This connection ties deeply into my emotions and when I feel that spark inside for someone or something I need to have them or it in my life. Down to the music I choose, the friends and lovers I choose, and the things I choose there is more meaning than just a relationship, there is an emotional connection that becomes part of my life! Of course I own things that I have no connection with but only a use for in my life such as a cell phone, computer, tv, microwave aka the essential for “American living”, but when it comes to my car, my close friends, gifts, the music I listen too, the clothes I wear, how I act, and the guys I date I form that special bond with them. But like most relationships there is an expiration date that comes with it. I am a true Scorpio for this, I have a commitment problem where all is fine and my bond is strong but over time I grow tired and bored and start becoming stressed with anxiety until that person or thing is out of my life. But that is a part of growing and maturing, what I like now is not what I will like in ten and twenty years, well for the most part. Overtime I have noticed that I weed out things in my life as if they were a trend of the times, but there are things in my life that I would never be able to let go and they become a part of me and make me feel stronger and inspired in life. Like I said “I am who I am” because I like what I like, I may seem to fit a stereotype but when it comes down to it that “stereotype” just seems to “fit” me because it is a social norm to place a label on everything and everyone. Reality check yes I am gay, no I am not “fem” or “masc,” yes I shop but I don’t buy things because they are cool, and yes I LOVE Britney Spears, but I don’t love her because pop culture tells me too; I am who I am and if you have to label me I don’t need you in my life. I don’t strive to be different or to come off odd and I most ‘def’ don’t hate things to stand out, I just enjoy myself and what makes me happy…I am Kory Christopher!